New York Stock Exchange, New York City.

Has anyone besides me noticed that the stock market doesn’t like Obama or his Administration?? The market is down 25% since he won the election and every time he opens his mouth it seems to sink to a new low.

As someone who used to be an active daytrader (currently I am not trading as just about the only way to make money in this market is to bet that stock is going lower, shorting). In any event for those of you that follow the market I would like to take a moment to share with you some new stock market terms, lingo if you will.

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower .

P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER – What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock .

STOCK SPLIT – When your ex- wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves .

FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the crapper.

YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share .

WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’ re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share .

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