I Vote Democrat Because….

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine, as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies through abortion so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

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Technorati Tags: Democrat, government control, Gun Control, Illegal Aliens, Liberal, taxes, vote

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An Open Letter to the IRS

Actual “Letter to the Editor” from the February 5th edition of the Wichita Falls, Texas, Times Record News….

Dear IRS,
I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost. I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog license tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting license tax, fishing license tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, Medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle license registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can’t recall, but I have run out of space and money.

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Technorati Tags: Letter to the Editor, taxes, Taxes owed

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It’s Time to File for Divorce

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950′s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

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Technorati Tags: capitalism, conservatives, liberals, Marxists, rights divorce the lefts, socilaists, taxes

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And the Era of Big Governement Has Returned!

You thought it was over but it looks like it’s back and Obama is it’s Champion!

Millions of Americans have viewed “big government” with a sharp, almost visceral skepticism ever since the enactment of LBJ’s Great Society. Disillusioned with welfare programs, chafing under federal civil rights laws and angered by social unrest and rising tax rates, conservative Democrats and Republicans relentlessly decried government as bureaucratic, wasteful and flat-out ineffectual. The ground is beginning to shift beneath our feet, however, as the collapsing national economy slowly upends this long-running theme in America’s political culture. (NY Daily News)

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Technorati Tags: Big Government, Government, Republican, taxes, United States

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IRS Pencil Sharpener

Oh so timely…. Need I even say more??

IRS Pencil Sharpener

Technorati Tags: Humor?, IRS, taxes

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